I don’t know what I expected from theNintendo Switch 2reveal. Just a little bit more excitement, I suppose. One of those loveable dudes fromNintendoholding the new (but basically old) Joy-Con and saying “wow, it does this now!”. It was extremely lowkey, dropped on YouTube with no warning, featuring no dialogue, and not even officially confirmingMario Kart 9despite that being the only game featured. It felt more like Nintendo saying “leave us alone until April” than it did “come look at this cool thing we made!”
The Switch 2’s success will not depend on how hype the initial teaser reveal was, nor does any of this really matter. It is ultimately a commercial for a video game console (or in this case, a commercial for a commercial for a video game console), and that’s as exciting as you want it to be. And some people want it to be very exciting indeed, andhave pawed over every detail. Whether that’s the magnetic controllers, theseemingly flimsy Joy-Con connectors, orthe endless details in Mario Kart, people have found a lot to talk about. And what I want to talk about today isDonkey Kong. What an ugly fella he is.
Why Does Donkey Kong Look Different In The Mario Kart Trailer?
I don’t want to be mean here, but come on. Donkey Kong looks like an overinflated balloon version of himself, right before it bursts. The iconic design has worked since it was introduced in 1994 by Rare forDonkey Kong Country, prior to which he was just a generic gorilla. Which he sort of is now anyway. However, this is not Donkey Kong going back to his roots. Instead, it’s a general flattening of his design to match up to his movie counterpart.
Some have suggested Donkey Kong’s design isa return to the pre-Rare days, or followinginternal 2D art from 2020, but the darkness around the eyes looks unmistakably like the movie to me.
Now, I don’t want to bethat one friend that’s too woke, but I think the game matching the movie (rather than the other way around) is a bad precedent.The Super Mario Bros. Moviewas fine, andI liked it more than most, but it’s not canonical. Mario hasn’t even heard of the Mushroom Kingdom when the movie begins. There are also far fewer characters in the movie, with even major players likeDaisy,Wario, and Waluigiabsent (Yoshiis teased at the end, in a pointless post-credits scene). If the games are shaping to match the movie, does that mean Mario’s general cast will thin to match its billion dollar box office success? Is Mario’s origin changing? Is Toad doomed to be that annoying forever?
Maybe these thoughts are irrational. We see these big hitting characters, and some deeper cuts like Pauline, in the Mario Kart trailer. There are15 characters on the track and a starting grid that houses 24 karts. It doesn’t seem like Mario Kart is downsizing, and the recently releasedSuper Mario Party Jamboreefeatures characters asweird and wonderful as Ninji. While it was likely a decision made as part of a dreadfully dull conversation about ‘brand synergy’, it’s possible - even likely - that the decision to make Donkey Kong into an ugly inflatable has no further ramifications than Donkey Kong being an ugly inflatable.
Bring Back The Old Donkey Kong
We’re seeing a lot more of this in general. It’s an era of aesthetic simplicity over visual flavour. Logos have lost their spark, and are now just the brand names in the same thin font in slightly different shades. British football teams are adopting more American badges, removing text and detailing to focus on a singular image. A cannon. A devil. My team,Newcastle United, has a badge consisting of two hippocampuses, a crest, a castle tower, a lion, a flag, and our name on a furled ribbon, and on our third kit our badge is just the letters NUFC.
But let’s not get side tracked. Where was I? Oh yes, Donkey Kong is an ugly monstrosity. Maybe I’ll like it more when we see it for real - ideally with his own, brand new game. Maybe it will grow on me. Maybe it’s not as bad as it seems in the blurry background of an advert that isn’t even for this game but for the console you can play it on.
Until then though, I’m with the haters. I have no real opinion on the Nintendo Switch 2 or the new Mario Kart yet, but I have some thoughts on Donkey Kong. And that thought is: I don’t like you. Bring back the other guy and go back to Hollywood, poser.
