Two Point Museumis a fun, whimsical game about cartoonish museums full of wondrous gadgets and artifacts. More than a few Exhibits, though, add a bit of nervousness to our laughter as they make the game quite a bit creepier than we expected.
The Cursed Objects of the Supernatural Museum, the unethical dystopian gizmos of the Science Museum, and the frightening implications of the Prehistory Mysteries all start to make us wonder whether Two Point Museum is secretly a horror game underneath all the bright colors and dryly-delivered zingers. These Exhibits in particular had us playing with the lights on.
8Beautification Beam
Showing off the latest advances in medical technology is one thing, but inviting guests to try it out for themselves is a bit much. Not only does the Beautification Beamperform automated laser eye surgery on guests, it does so with an ulterior motive.
The Beam adjusts guests' vision so that the Exhibits in the museum appear better-looking, letting themignore lower Decoration Ratingswhen gaining Buzz from their visit. Try not to think to hard about what that actually means for their vision, or the long-term ramifications on their overall health.
7Chomper Pit
The Chomper Pit is one of the museum’slargest, most impressive pieces. This enormous, probably-sentient plant attempts to devour anything that gets in reach of its creeping tendrils, something that the museum’s Expertsare definitely aware ofafter their dangerous treks into the Chomper Jungle to retrieve a live specimen.
It’s bad enough that there arebasically no safety precautionsto protect guests from this ravenous carnivore; in fact, the Pit includesa staircase and walking path for guests to directly approach the plant.This can only mean that the museum iswillingly and intentionally feeding guests to the Chomper in broad daylightto keep it healthy, strong, and profitable.
The Chomper Pit also has no effect, positive or negative, on your museum’s Health And Safety Inspections.
6Haunted Mannequin
Once you’ve had theHaunted Mannequinin your museum for a while, you’ll probably notice that itchanges its poseevery so often. That’s to be expected with many of the game’s Cursed Objects. However, no matter how long you stare at the Mannequin, you’llnever actually see it move.
That’s because the Haunted Mannequinonly changes its pose when it’s off-camera. If you pan away, or switch to a menu and come back, it will change poses in the blink of an eye. In other words,it knows when you’re looking at it and when you aren’t.
5Alternate Yesterday Fossil
Captain Yesterday is Two Point County’s preeminent time traveler, but the museum’s expeditions to the Netherworld reveals a horrifying truth; there areinfinite alternate timelineswhere the intrepid Captain’s exploits ended in his untimely demise. Your first clue to this frightening reality is theAlternate Yesterday Fossil, which can be found in the Bone Belt.
These relics of discarded timelines saw Captain Yesterdayfossilized for millions of years, eventually ending up as a museum piece. Imagine going to a museum only to see your own face set in stone - and not in the fine art wing!
4Frozen Cave Person
Like the Alternate Yesterday Fossil, the Frozen Cave Person is someone trapped in time. Unlike the Fossil, though, the Frozen Cave Personis still alive.
If you let a Frozen Cave Person thaw, the very confused occupant of the former ice block will stumble around your museum, breaking things as they adjust to their new reality. We can only hope they were in some kind of hibernation while they were trapped throughout the eons.
3Judgment Clouder
At least the Beautification Beam gives guests the option not to use it. TheJudgment Clouder, on the other hand, is a device straight out of our collective dystopian nightmares, sitting right on the museum floor.
This insidious deviceemits vapors that alter the mood of guests who inhale it, making them more receptive to the other Exhibits in the museum… and thus more lilkely to leave good reviews and donate their money. At least nothing like that exists in the real world… r-right?
2Haunted Doll
There are few things creepier than a Haunted Doll, and while Two Point Museum’s contribution to this storied horror trope isn’t out-and-out scary on appearance alone, herunblinking stareis singularly unnerving.
No matter the camera angle, the Haunted Dollalways looks directly at you, the player. She’ll even rotate her head completely around to maintain eye contact, and if multiple dolls are all seated together, they all watch you at once. Even if you send one of these monstrous toys back to the Netherworld bytaking her apart in the Deconstructor, she’ll keep staring directly into your soul until the very end in hologram form.
1Blooming Buffoon
Even if you aren’t scared of clowns, you might be after experiencing the Blooming Buffoon. This terrifying plant is like something straight out ofKiller Klowns From Outer Space; it lures in guests with a balloon-shaped appendage, then swallows them up while playing carnival organ music.
The Blooming Buffoon’s prey survives, but it’s forever changed; those devoured by the plant aretransformed into clowns, doomed to walk the earth in comically-oversized shoes for the rest of time. The worst part is that theBlooming Buffoon is actually one of the best Exhibits to have in your museum, as the transformed Clowns provide Entertainment to guests as they wander the halls, struggling to come to terms with their new existence.
